Weekends with Monte

I was responding to an inquiry from an online sister, Peggy Sue, who is planning a book about mothers and their children. I really go into my response, and I've decided it deserves to be a blog entry here:

I have three great kids at home: an 18 year old son who is a freshman at U. Baltimore, a 17 year old daughter who is a high school senior, and a 3 year old son who hasn't started school yet. My youngest son ensures that I don't become rooted to the couch or permanently glued in front of the computer when we're home. I can become fixated on a book or in reviewing ideas for recipes for a long period of time. Certain times, I believe he calls on me every thirty seconds!

I purposely devote time to be with him throughout the day to watch a favorite DVD, read a story, or eat together, or else I encourage him to do one of his activities near me while I do whatever I'm into at the moment. Regardless, he requires a lot of face-to-face attention. Though my son keeps me busy, he has a way of making me slow my pace.

I'll explain in a bit. When it comes to kitchen duty, sometimes I can be hurried and wanting to "get it done already." I like to take out only what I need and clean up as I go--just being efficient. I have even been known to swoop into the kitchen and put away the milk or butter right after Hubby has taken it out for some purpose.

So, how does my son help me slow down? Here's an example from today. Feeling fatigued, I stayed home today (Sunday) even though we'd got up and preparing for church. I didn't venture out for the first half of the day. I hadn't slept well last night. Later in the afternoon I said, "Let me whip up a batch of oatmeal cookies. It'll be quick." I was ready to zoom through in like five minutes, but when my son saw me pulling stuff out the fridge, he got excited. He wanted to help. So I purposely slowed my roll because I knew he was used to doing something or other during the day, and we had been milling around the house--boring. I brought over a chair for him to stand on. I measured; he poured and stirred. When it was time for the electric mixer, I put my hand over his little hand and we watched the dry and wet ingredients blend. We both got satisfaction out of our fun work.

Not only did we bake cookies. He noticed when I pulled out the soap-making kit that my former boss gave me some four years ago. I was thinking of something to do for the holidays, but he was like, "yeah, let's make it now mommy. YES!!" as if it was a very special treat. I delayed for 20 minutes, reading instructions, and finally gave in. I figured hey, it's been four years. So we had a good time making fragrant soap this afternoon. Inspiring.

So I've told you how he motivates me while simultaneously slowing me down. Let me tell you another couple ways my son gets me off the couch. Last weekend, the last thing I wanted to do was go outside and play, but my 3-year-old son became restless and I needed to get him out so he could use up his energy. We took his bike, with training wheels, and a basketball to the park at the end of the block. This is so not me, I'm telling you! I brought along a book and a thermos of coffee. I figured I'd sit and read while he rode around the enclosed basketball court. Well it turns out I did no reading. Instead, I had fun like a kid. I jogged around the perimeter of the court while he followed me on the bike. Next I pretended to be a real baller and threw some layup shots and foul shots and we practiced passing and dribbling. After that, I jogged behind him as he rode his bike in wild circles and zig zags all over the court. It was fun and good exercise too. I was amazed at how youthful and invigorated I felt. We enjoyed mom and son time surrounded by nature with nobody else around, and before heading home down the street, we took time to swing and hang on the exercise bars.

Now back to today: after we'd made the cookies today, but before we made the soap, he begged me to go outside. I know he was tired of seeing me looking at web sites. Well, the teenagers wouldn't take him out, and his dad had already taken him out in the morning before he left to watch football. So I said, okay, okay. I'll read my book on the front steps and you fly your paper airplane in the yard. That lasted 30 seconds. He wanted to go around back. I followed him to the back yard where we pulled vines off the siding, cleared away sticks, picked leaves to see which smelled fragrant, and we took pictures with my camera phone. Again, I felt alive and rejuvenated.

I've learned that if I pause and listen to my little one and occasionally indulge him, then it adds new joy to any task or activity. (Now I'd better go see about him because he's been quiet for a good 30 minutes. I think he fell asleep on the couch. )

What’s in Our Back Yard

I have become very fond of Bladensburg Waterfront Park in Prince George's County Maryland by the DC/MD line. I think I recommended it to just about every one of my local friends and relatives. It has been a great open & natural space for a few festivals this year, but it is even more special to me on typical days when it is quiet. I'm always in awe of the ducks, geese, the occasional crane, the kayakers and canoers, the blue sky and its border-a colorful array of trees. The river is different each time, but it always sparkles and ripples and carries the ducks and geese. This time an algae-covered beachy area had appeared, and a multitude of ducks sat sunbathing and keeping company. They were quacking about something or other.

Normally the kids and I go only so far on the Anacostia Trail. Saturday, however, we went as far as we could and discovered a whole new park area. Pristine and beautiful--like something from one of those childhood books that depicted the new suburbs of the 1960s minus the houses and people. By that I mean we saw beautiful rolling hills, grassy expanses, open sky, and the roads we saw at first glance appeared to be footpaths until we noticed a stop sign. No one was around, and we played and wandered, marvelling at the trees with their fruit and bushes with their berries and pretty leaves. It was easy to image that I'd been carried off to the countryside.

Sunday afternoon we returned there with my older son, and we went even further. We climbed a hill leading to a ballfield, and we discovered not one but three ball fields and a great expanse of surrounding trees, open sky, no buildings--just nature. Hardly anyone was to be found. One small group of about 4 people were grilling. It was so quiet. On the way back we saw an older gentleman carrying golf clubs and a ball.

I hope the area remains unspoiled and that it will be a spectacular display of God's artistry to the next newcomer. Our only disappointment was that the seasonal pontoon boatrides are over. We'd hoped to catch the 5PM river tour, and I admit I wasn't confident enough to rent one of the available paddle or row boats.