Weekends with Monte

I was responding to an inquiry from an online sister, Peggy Sue, who is planning a book about mothers and their children. I really go into my response, and I've decided it deserves to be a blog entry here:

I have three great kids at home: an 18 year old son who is a freshman at U. Baltimore, a 17 year old daughter who is a high school senior, and a 3 year old son who hasn't started school yet. My youngest son ensures that I don't become rooted to the couch or permanently glued in front of the computer when we're home. I can become fixated on a book or in reviewing ideas for recipes for a long period of time. Certain times, I believe he calls on me every thirty seconds!

I purposely devote time to be with him throughout the day to watch a favorite DVD, read a story, or eat together, or else I encourage him to do one of his activities near me while I do whatever I'm into at the moment. Regardless, he requires a lot of face-to-face attention. Though my son keeps me busy, he has a way of making me slow my pace.

I'll explain in a bit. When it comes to kitchen duty, sometimes I can be hurried and wanting to "get it done already." I like to take out only what I need and clean up as I go--just being efficient. I have even been known to swoop into the kitchen and put away the milk or butter right after Hubby has taken it out for some purpose.

So, how does my son help me slow down? Here's an example from today. Feeling fatigued, I stayed home today (Sunday) even though we'd got up and preparing for church. I didn't venture out for the first half of the day. I hadn't slept well last night. Later in the afternoon I said, "Let me whip up a batch of oatmeal cookies. It'll be quick." I was ready to zoom through in like five minutes, but when my son saw me pulling stuff out the fridge, he got excited. He wanted to help. So I purposely slowed my roll because I knew he was used to doing something or other during the day, and we had been milling around the house--boring. I brought over a chair for him to stand on. I measured; he poured and stirred. When it was time for the electric mixer, I put my hand over his little hand and we watched the dry and wet ingredients blend. We both got satisfaction out of our fun work.

Not only did we bake cookies. He noticed when I pulled out the soap-making kit that my former boss gave me some four years ago. I was thinking of something to do for the holidays, but he was like, "yeah, let's make it now mommy. YES!!" as if it was a very special treat. I delayed for 20 minutes, reading instructions, and finally gave in. I figured hey, it's been four years. So we had a good time making fragrant soap this afternoon. Inspiring.

So I've told you how he motivates me while simultaneously slowing me down. Let me tell you another couple ways my son gets me off the couch. Last weekend, the last thing I wanted to do was go outside and play, but my 3-year-old son became restless and I needed to get him out so he could use up his energy. We took his bike, with training wheels, and a basketball to the park at the end of the block. This is so not me, I'm telling you! I brought along a book and a thermos of coffee. I figured I'd sit and read while he rode around the enclosed basketball court. Well it turns out I did no reading. Instead, I had fun like a kid. I jogged around the perimeter of the court while he followed me on the bike. Next I pretended to be a real baller and threw some layup shots and foul shots and we practiced passing and dribbling. After that, I jogged behind him as he rode his bike in wild circles and zig zags all over the court. It was fun and good exercise too. I was amazed at how youthful and invigorated I felt. We enjoyed mom and son time surrounded by nature with nobody else around, and before heading home down the street, we took time to swing and hang on the exercise bars.

Now back to today: after we'd made the cookies today, but before we made the soap, he begged me to go outside. I know he was tired of seeing me looking at web sites. Well, the teenagers wouldn't take him out, and his dad had already taken him out in the morning before he left to watch football. So I said, okay, okay. I'll read my book on the front steps and you fly your paper airplane in the yard. That lasted 30 seconds. He wanted to go around back. I followed him to the back yard where we pulled vines off the siding, cleared away sticks, picked leaves to see which smelled fragrant, and we took pictures with my camera phone. Again, I felt alive and rejuvenated.

I've learned that if I pause and listen to my little one and occasionally indulge him, then it adds new joy to any task or activity. (Now I'd better go see about him because he's been quiet for a good 30 minutes. I think he fell asleep on the couch. )